This too is part of the process.
Remembering to breathe.
More often than not, I find myself going from moment to moment without a single breath in between.
And then suddenly, quite unexpectedly, something happens that sets you on a course you never imagined… be it love, heartbreak or an accident, you’re left confused and wondering what now?
In moments like these, I remind myself to catch my breath.
And to see all that is around me.
And to think of all that has been, and all that I wish to come.
And I allow myself to feel, really feel, what it means to sit with myself and not feel alone in my company.
And then I do.
From my recent experiences, I’ve come to realize that the void & emptiness that has crept into my heart, the uncertainty & anxiety that has plagued my mind, and the fear & self doubt that likes to anguish my drive are all eternal parts of my being. Further, I’ve also come to realize, that it was never about getting rid of these feelings, rather it’s always been about changing my relationship with them.
So I’m learning to sit at the same table with love & hate; and in the process I see that I am no longer drowning in darkness or romanticizing the light. I am at peace with the duality of existence.
This peace is the calm to my chaos; now and forevermore, I shall carry it with me.
One thought on “Peace”
Gosh, I wish i could express myself like you; you write beautifully. I didn’t know whether I should reply, and possibly make the void & emptiness larger. But given the date of the post, I need to tell you that I am sorry. I am NOT sorry for meeting you; our time was magical. I am only sorry for being so blind and immature. I have grown a lot and have to live out the consequences my choices have brought and fulfill my responsibilities. I cannot tell you what the future holds for either of us, other than uncertainty. But I can tell you that, how I have felt the past few years is not dissimilar to what you described above (yes, a double negative, I know).
~I truly miss you my first mate~
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