I wonder if I’ll ever get a chance to tell you about all the times I wanted to find you and say “I miss you” – but didn’t.
I wonder if I’ll ever get a chance to tell you about the nights I stayed up wondering, if you are ok, if you -like I- are learning how to breathe again.
I wonder if I’ll ever see your smile without pain…
I wonder if we will ever exist, perhaps just as friends, but nonetheless, as “we” again…
As I get ready to leave this town, this home, this chapter in my life, I can’t help but wonder…
What are you doing tonight?
I suppose I may never find out, but I hope I might...
On some distant day,
As the sun sets across the beach and we walk with waves crashing at our feet…
Perhaps then, we will once again smile in each other’s company,
and think back to this night, and all those unshared memories.
…it will feel like old times…
I wonder: how much time must first pass, before that day can come to be?
Through teary eyes, I shake my head.
I know, till then, I must make my peace.
So I do.
I remind myself why I made this choice.
And with what intent.
Silencing my thoughts without resentment, accepting reality without regret.
Now all I have left,
are packed bags and fading memories.